Dear son... A clarion call

They used me
This is not a tale of my helplessness, not one to bore or frighten you but one to give you an insight to my covered up retarded growth. I buried my pain in the glass of champaign.
There was I, the kalandi of my parents, strong and masculine at fourteen looking eighteen just starting to experience the pains that comes with maturity.
Mom was out for the weekend shopping outside the country,dad probably in Niger or Morocco, Tessy possibly out with Ted. Aunty Becky had promised to get a cure for my aching stomach when she gets back only to turn my world black.
Come sit on my legs! her voice cried out as I moved slowly almost crawling, she looked rather close to naked, I tried so hard to concentrate on my aching tummy, a cure is all I need not starring at my naked aunt.

'this is a phase in life you have to go through in order to be a man, forget this strong arm and masculinity they are just figures. What you are experiencing now is called sperm formation, after today you will never feel this pain again'
Her sentence clustered as she winked her eye.
(All I need is a cure and not this education I thought)
Can I have the pills now? I asked almost inaudibly.
 Her hands found a way to my trouser, fear gripped me, I tried, I really tried, I let out a cry, a way to make her stop but she didn't listen,the pain was unbearable as I screamed on top of my voice, she had total control of me. Yes sHE USED ME and no one could plead my course.

I told everyone of them but none of them believed me, mom said I was hallucinating, dad said its the effect of the pornography I'm getting exposed to and its in control of my imagination. Tessy who is my big sister didn't listen, she claimed if its true then I must have enjoyed at least Ted enjoyed his sexcapedes with her, I was warned never to say such abominable accusation.
I voiced out but none believed me,I retired to my inner self, a weaker version of me. I hated them all. Now I am 28 fourteen years after, aunty Becky now six feet under but the memories from my teen still lingers in my head, marriage is now something I have to live with in order to make mom happy. Not just weak , I am less of a man to my wife , and yes my wife is cheating.
Today I say to you, the world USED ME.


DEAR SON...

There would come days when your light would burn low,
And darkness would stay up longer than you expected.
Days when the universe work against you
And you feel nothing better than pain

Dear son.
 Life itself is a battle. And in a battle, there's a loser and a winner.
Never you work yourself up just to win, but never be the one to lose.
Let anxieties and every pains that you fought earn death after the battle.
There are days that your eyes would twitch and tears would threaten to
drop. You would hold them back and struggle to prevent the throbbing
of your being and calm your raging heart. Please son, just let it go...boys
cry too.

 I assure you son...There's a morning after every nights.

Like I said before, life is a battle, a battle of unseen demons and angels. You would choose whom to pledge loyalty to. Just know that at the end, your choice would tell. Know this also, people's opinion never really count. Do not ever depend on them,
but listen to your heart.

©Ehimen
#forhispeace
#maleandhuman

Story:Delia
Poem:Ehinem